Kelly, one of the regular readers of this blog, gave
me an idea last week from a comment she made in response to my post on the O.Henry short story, “The Ransom of Red Chief.”
Her comment was in reaction to the monologue
that O. Henry writes in the voice of the little kidnapped boy called, Red Chief. The rambling nature of a little boy’s disconnected
thoughts reminded her of her son when he was a child, and it reminds me of my
son, Matthew, as well. So I thought it
would be fun to write up a monologue using Matthew’s speech patterns and
interests.
So of course this is fiction, but Matthew either said some of these thoughts somewhere or he could easily have said it. Picture Matthew sitting at the table eating
his favorite meal, raviolis in a butter sauce which since he first learned to
talk he calls “yolies.” He’s sitting
back in the chair with a fork in his right hand and every so often leans
forward to fork a yolie and place it in his mouth, then leans back again, all
the while chatting away while his mother and father try not to answer him.
“I like this. What am I getting for my birthday? Do you like the grey Batman or the blue
Batman? I like the black Batman. You have a cookie on your head. Do angels have lasers in their eyes? Isaiah fell off the monkey bars twice. What would happen if a squirrel stuck his
tail in the water spout? Angelina and Olivia
called me names. I cut up paper with my
scissors at school but you have to be careful not to cut your fingers. Jaden and Luke jumped on me but I pushed them
off. I can’t run faster than a car. You shouldn't touch electricity. Does Jesus love everybody? Even Daddy?
Lightening can kill you. Yolies
are my favorite. You can have a cat or a
dog for a pet but not an alligator. Do
horses lay eggs? What do you get if you
mix purple and orange? I’m going to be a
policeman. Have you ever gone to
jail? Why do monster trucks have big
wheels? The black Batman can fly but not
the blue Batman or the grey Batman. What’s
for dessert? Can x-ray vision hurt
you? Can I have a rocket for my
birthday?”
Hope you enjoyed it. So if you
feel creative, why not try that in the voice of your child at your blog, and
link it back to here.
