Kelly, one of the regular readers of this blog, gave me an idea last week from a comment she made in response to my post on the O.Henry short story, “The Ransom of Red Chief.” Her comment was in reaction to the monologue that O. Henry writes in the voice of the little kidnapped boy called, Red Chief. The rambling nature of a little boy’s disconnected thoughts reminded her of her son when he was a child, and it reminds me of my son, Matthew, as well. So I thought it would be fun to write up a monologue using Matthew’s speech patterns and interests.
So of course this is fiction, but Matthew either said some of these thoughts somewhere or he could easily have said it. Picture Matthew sitting at the table eating his favorite meal, raviolis in a butter sauce which since he first learned to talk he calls “yolies.” He’s sitting back in the chair with a fork in his right hand and every so often leans forward to fork a yolie and place it in his mouth, then leans back again, all the while chatting away while his mother and father try not to answer him.
“I like this. What am I getting for my birthday? Do you like the grey Batman or the blue Batman? I like the black Batman. You have a cookie on your head. Do angels have lasers in their eyes? Isaiah fell off the monkey bars twice. What would happen if a squirrel stuck his tail in the water spout? Angelina and Olivia called me names. I cut up paper with my scissors at school but you have to be careful not to cut your fingers. Jaden and Luke jumped on me but I pushed them off. I can’t run faster than a car. You shouldn't touch electricity. Does Jesus love everybody? Even Daddy? Lightening can kill you. Yolies are my favorite. You can have a cat or a dog for a pet but not an alligator. Do horses lay eggs? What do you get if you mix purple and orange? I’m going to be a policeman. Have you ever gone to jail? Why do monster trucks have big wheels? The black Batman can fly but not the blue Batman or the grey Batman. What’s for dessert? Can x-ray vision hurt you? Can I have a rocket for my birthday?”
Hope you enjoyed it. So if you feel creative, why not try that in the voice of your child at your blog, and link it back to here.