I
can’t help but feel that there are two different experiences in the country
with the corona virus. There is the east
coast experience and there is the rest of the country. When one looks at the state by state numbers,
the two states of New York and New Jersey make up about a third of all the
cases in the country and over 40% of the deaths. And the New York State numbers are incredibly
skewed to New York City. I think it’s
pretty much acknowledged that New York City and the surrounding suburbs have
been the epicenter of the contagion. It
does not surprise me then that we are reacting to the lockdown
differently. (Of course this excludes
the lack of lockdown to the recent riots across the country. Does the lockdown even matter any more?)
Here
is my experience as a New Yorker, albeit one from Staten Island, which is
subtly different than one from Manhattan.
But Manhattan has actually been
spared, relatively speaking. It’s the
outer boroughs of the city that has absorbed the brunt of the pandemic.
First
let me thank God that no one in my family has contracted the virus. We are all healthy, both immediate and
extended family. We are definitely
stressed out being locked at home and forced to go out with masks and gloves. But our families are also intact, though I’ve
heard some have been on edge. My immediate
family—wife and ten year old Matthew—have not come to any fistfights—and in
some ways has brought us closer together.
It’s been about twelve weeks since I’ve been teleworking, and my son
started “teleschooling” the week prior.
Second, it’s a good thing that my work dispersed
employees and enacted a work-from-home rule.
Of the 3500-ish employees, and we work in New Jersey, I have heard that
some 40-something contracted the virus.
That’s not even an up to date number.
That’s more than a month old. I
don’t know how many were hospitalized or maybe even died, though I think it
would have gotten out if anyone died.
Still, if we were getting some 1% infected rate while dispersed, I think
we would have had quite a large number of infections if we were enclosed our
poorly ventilated buildings.
Third, I know of four people from the neighborhood who
have contracted the virus and died, two of them friends. Of the two who were not friends, one was the
mother of our pastor at our church, the other a retired member of my Lay
Dominican chapter. Of the two friends
who passed, one was a current member of my Lay Dominican chapter. Her name was Meg and was 85 years old. I
think she was in the hospital about ten days or so, and mid-way in her stay this
came from her brother:
"She struggled at first. She was unconscious for
two days. She is on oxygen, but she is not eating. She had trouble with her
kidneys and her liver. They are giving her medicine and [she is] getting
better. She still has a long way to go."
A few days later we got word she had passed away. Meg had survived pneumonia last year—she had
been in intensive care—but she did not survive Corona. Meg was a sweet and devout lady. She had been a Lay Dominican at least some
fifty years. She never actually said
this, but it always felt that Meg thought of me as a son. Eternal rest grant
onto her, O Lord.
The other friend who passed was Luigi. Luigi’s passing was even harder to take. In early March I think it was, Luigi fell from
some stairs inside his home and broke some ribs and was in the hospital for
about a week. This was before the virus
lockdown had occurred but the virus had come in to the US in some degree. In the hospital it appears he caught the
corona virus, came home and after a couple of week it blossomed and he had high
fever. He was taken to the ER and placed
in ICU and eventually on a ventilator.
He was in ICU for at least a couple of weeks—I’ve lost track of the time
span. No family was ever allowed to see
him the whole time he was at the hospital.
He spent the whole time alone, mostly in a coma and without any
knowledge of his progress or lack thereof.
He died a lonely death. The only
thing they could do with the body was have it cremated from what I understand. His family never got to see him again after
he went to the hospital that second time.
My mother and Luigi were wall neighbors of
semi-attached homes, so they saw each other every day. Whenever she had an
emergency it was Luigi to the rescue. He spoke Italian with my mother, so it
was a person she could communicate with. Actually, not just Italian. It so happened
that his family and my family were from the same region of Italy, so they spoke
the same dialect. He was like a family member. My mother was friends with his
mother before his mother passed away. After his mother passed away, Luigi told
me that he considered my mother his mother.
Luigi was always so kind and upbeat and jovial. I
don't remember him ever being down. He was very talkative, very much an
extrovert, and would do anything for you. Italian men can be extroverts, and if
you know that type of Italian, that was Luigi.
I pass his house every day and I still see his car there. He was only 58 years old. I noticed from his funeral card, which
included his birthdate and printed without actually having a wake, we were six
months apart. My mother reflecting on
his death said something to the effect, “I’m not afraid of dying, but this is
not how I want to die.”
Eternal rest grant unto Luigi, O Lord, and let
perpetual light shine upon him. May God have mercy on his soul and may he rest
in eternal peace.
After Luigi passed away, I got to meet (virtually, not
through in person contact) one of the nurses who had taken care of him in
ICU. Her name is Florence. This is what she wrote about being an ICU
nurse during the height of the inflammation:
"The corona virus is an unforgiving entity. Most
of what it ravages are the elderly, but it has also taken the lives of as young
as healthy 21 year olds that we've seen. These past few days, the disease had
started to slow down, but midway March was hell I tell you. The number of cases
and the severity of it was bad. Horrible. Our hospital was not ready and the
workers were overwhelmed, turning about fifteen units into COVID ICUs and the
rest into regular COVID units. I feel lucky that I got critical care experience
which had been useful in this pandemic. I feel sympathetic to the nurses who
turned into ICU nurses overnight, titrating medications and dealing with
ventilators for the first time. Every night there are code blues after code
blues overhead, and there was not a night where nobody died. It's especially
heartbreaking that visitations are restricted, so most of the patients die
alone. We can't even properly mourn for the patient--we would shed a tear, say
a prayer, but then we have to get back to work because there are still the
living to tend to."
That comment about the hell of mid-March reminded me
of an observation I had at the time. On
the hour I would be hearing sirens. More
than on the hour. Several siren brays per
hour. How many fires could there
possibly be, I asked myself? And then I
realized it wasn’t fire engines or police cars but ambulances. Ambulances were in constant rush, and I
realized that with each ambulance blare some poor soul was in a state of mortal
crises. Every time I heard a siren, I
would stop and say a prayer for that soul.
I saw in the news at some point that at the height there were literally
hundreds of ambulance calls per day.
That has been my experience when it comes for those
infected. My personal experience has been significantly more
pleasant. At least my commute is
simpler. Instead of an hour each way,
now it’s thirty seconds. I roll out of
bed and stroll to my study!
Fortunately (or unfortunately) I have to report that
I’m as efficient teleworking as I am physically in the office. Conference calls can be a bit of a struggle
with people talking over each other, but things get done. The experience must be mirrored across the
organization. Maybe even the
nation. There is no rush to end the teleworking,
and there has been a discussion on having cyclical teleworking groups, even
after this is all over.
I’ve read in the news that kids are either doing
poorly or behind in their school work.
Not my son. I can’t speak for the
others in his class, but he has been doing super. His grades are way up. Matthew happens to be a very social and
gregarious kid, so I think being away from his classmates reduces the
distractions and makes him focus. He has
classes on Zoom and gets email assignments.
He submits through email and gets graded through email. Thank God his school was on top of this. They’ve done a great job.
Also, Matthew gets to see me work and interact on my conference
calls. I think watching a professional
work environment conditions his behavior since so much of what kids do is
emulative. Plus he can take breaks and
go out front and dribble his basketball in between the Zoom classes. This has been a blessing in disguise when it
comes to my son’s education.
Thank God all my conference calls have been over the
phone. I am not prepared for a visual
conference. When I had a real commute, I
would shower and shave every morning.
Now I do it every few days and it’s not in the morning. Plus I don’t get out of sweat clothes until
after work either. I’m not a sight to
see. And I can really use a
haircut. Please Lord, let the
barbershops open soon.
I think my health has also improved from the
lockdown. Without that commute I get an
extra hour of sleep and I take the dog for a forty-five minute walk before
dinner. I’ve actually lost a couple of
pounds. It might even be more than that
since I think the hair on my head now must be adding a pound or two to my
weight…lol. How much does hair weigh
anyway?
Being constantly home does get boring. We haven’t been out for dinner the whole
time. Occasionally we order something
in, but that’s been a way to give us a treat.
My wife and I try to beat each other for a reason to go out to the
store. Wearing mask and gloves of
course. One day she’ll call dibs and
another day I’ll box her out and call first.
Anything to get a change of scenery.
I don’t know if that’s what God intended when He created marriage, but
that’s what it has come down to. "With
this ring, I thee wed, in sickness and in health, in pandemic or in wealth,
till corona do us part."
The worst part of the lockdown I think has been not
being able to go to church on Sunday. We
watch Mass on TV but it’s not the same.
Roman Catholics require the physical communion of the Blessed Sacrament. You can’t get that over a screen. Still, given the relative age of our parish
congregation, I think it was the right thing to stop Mass. The virus would have spread like wild fire
throughout the parish.
Has this all been worth it? My experience would say yes. People from other parts of the country tell
me they don’t know of anyone who has come down with the virus, let alone
someone who has died from it. Here it’s
quite different. Everyone knows of
someone, and everyone knows of a death.
Certainly with foreknown knowledge of everything we could have had a
more optimized plan. Some claim it is no
different than the flu. That’s was my
opinion back in early March. My opinion
evolved dramatically. We’ve more than
exceeded the number of deaths of the worst flu season in less than three
months, and while going through extreme preventative and lockdown procedures,
and it’s not over yet. My guess at
looking at the different curves of transmission and fatality rates, I would
estimate we would have had three to four times the mortality if we had done
nothing. Except for the horrendous
decision to send virus infected patients to nursing homes, I feel the process was
as best as could be expected given the level of knowledge we had.
That’s my New York experience. I can understand how people in the open air
states in the west see it differently.
But be aware, even in those western states when people in factories are
placed in close proximity, the infection rates go up. Enclosed space seems to be one of the leading
variables.
A sad and heart-breaking catalogue of events, Manny; which no doubt has been in other countries too. I feel God is speaking to this world right now. But I fear few are really listening.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and your family and friends.
Appreciate your reflection about the COVID crisis, Manny. I'm so sorry about your friend Luigi, may he rest in eternal peace.
ReplyDeleteWe are New York strong, let us keep the faith.
May God continue to keep you and your family safe.
Thank you Florence. And yes, you're the same Florence I quoted in the post. ;)
DeleteHi Manny, thanks for sending me this! I'm just now getting to it and I appreciate your willingness to chronicle your experience. I'm beyond grateful you and your family are safe, but I'm so sorry for the loss of your friends. For what it's worth, I remember stumbling on an essay like this, where someone had taken the time and effort to blog about a dearly beloved mentor/professor of mine who'd passed away suddenly. I didn't find it until some years later, but it was so special to find someone who remembered her as fondly as I did. I have no doubt that this entry will be the same for others.
ReplyDeleteAlso - I too have struggled with not going to church and not being able to set aside Sundays as the Lord's day. I had to tell myself just yesterday: STOP! It's Sunday. It's ok to rest.
Thank you for commenting Mary Sue. These are tough times. With God's grace it will get better.
Delete