Just
about a year ago I had an exchange on the internet with Anthony Esolen, the excellent
translator and Renaissance Literature professor, concerning use of
diction. Professor Esolen was at the
time maintaining a blog on writing and word use and etymology at Patheos Catholic forum, called Word of the Day. I
really enjoyed it, but unfortunately he seems to have given it up, or at least
it’s on pause. I was actually surprised
he could keep up with a blog, given the time it takes for all the things he writes
and his teaching, if he still teaches.
His bio line says he teaches at Providence College.
I
generally agreed with whatever writing insight he provided, but a year ago,
almost to the day, I had a little disagreement with him. It has stuck in my mind for three reasons. (1) I think it convinced him and (2) I
articulated one of my unwritten rules of writing for which I want to document
and preserve and (3) it led to a further insight on writing.
I’ve
mentioned Anthony Esolen before on this blog before. He was the translator of one of the Dante
Alighieri’s Purgatorios I read and blogged on earlier this year. http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/2014/01/book-excerpt-purgatorio-by-dante.html
The
point of disagreement had to do with word repetition and searching out synonyms
(typically through the use of a Thesaurus).
Here’s what he said on his post titled “Grammar Lesson of the Day: Bury the Thesaurus”:
Sometimes my college freshmen tell me that
they use a thesaurus to find synonyms, so that they don’t have to use the same
word all the time. Using the same word, they’ve been told, is repetitive, and
repetition is bad. Well, that’s complete nonsense. I’ll turn to repetition in
later lessons. For now, I imagine Jesus saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is
the kingdom of heaven.
Those who mourn are going to be happy too,
because they will be comforted.
The inheritance of the earth will belong to
the meek, and that will be most fortunate for them.
People who hunger for righteousness will
experience a favorable state of affairs …
Anyway, Thesaurus
polytropus is a wily old dinosaur. He doesn’t attack head on. He baits his prey
by leaving in open view the carcasses of words, and just when you think you’re
going to enjoy an easy meal – no hunting, no skinning – pounce! He’s got you by
the throat.
The thing is, very few words are really
synonymous with one another. This makes English especially baffling for
non-native speakers. English is phenomenally rich in words, from the Germanic
foundations, from the Viking variants, from the French by way of the Norman
Conquest; words borrowed or invented from Latin and Greek from the Renaissance
to this day; we even borrow ways of making new words. No language has as many
words as English does. No language is even close.
So we use words that are sort-of-synonymous,
but assign them to special areas of meaning, with differences in nuance.
You
can go over and read the rest and follow his examples. Prof. Esolen’s editing of the Beatitudes
eliminated the repetitive words and provided alternatives to avoid the
repetition. He’s got a point, but he’s
generally wrong here. Here was my reply,
which was echoed by others commenting.
I don't fully agree
with you on this one. Yes most college students don't know how to use a
thesaurus, and being precise is paramount, so if one uses alternative words at
the expense of precision then you have reduced your writing. And yes
repetition, especially anaphora as in the Beatitudes (as well as other
rhetorical uses of repetition), can have a beneficial effect to one's prose.
[Notice how I just used the word "prose" instead of repeating
"writing" in that last sentence.] But the use of an alternative word
that does not sacrifice precision most definitely makes the writing fresher.
Repetition without rhetorical construction bores the reader and dulls the
composition. [See I used another word there at the end instead of
"writing" or "prose."] Knowing how to use synonyms comes
with experience.
In
a reply to someone who said something similar, Professor Esolen said this:
I do understand your
point, though -- and Manny's below. But teachers who believe that a thesaurus
is any help for a student who hasn't read broadly are fooling themselves, or
don't really understand how people learn to write well.
His
point is not that you shouldn’t strive to freshen one’s writing, but that most
people don’t use a Thesaurus correctly and wind up using an alternative word
when it doesn’t fit. Fair enough. As I said: precision is paramount. Take that as a quote. But here’s the key: repetition without
rhetorical construct bores the reader. In
Prof. Esolen’s edited Beatitudes, eliminating the repetition also eliminated
the rhetorical structuring. Here are the
actual first four Beatitudes.
Blessed are the
poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they
who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the
meek, for they will inherit the land.
Blessed are they
who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.
The
repetition of “Blessed are” at the beginning and “for” at the caesura parts of
the sentence creates a rhetorical structure, which in this case is called
anaphora.
But
here’s something just as important that came to me as I’ve given this thought
these past twelve months. Repetition with rhetorical construct livens
writing. There are several rhetorical constructs that use repetition and they are worth looking into.
Wikipedia
gives some fine examples of anaphora, but let me end with this one. This is from Ezra Pound’s poem Canto XLV of
his opus collection of poetry titled, The Cantos, Canto XLV subtitled, “With Usura.” d
Canto XLV
By Ezra Pound
With Usura
With usura hath
no man a house of good stone
each block cut
smooth and well fitting
that design
might cover their face,
with usura
hath no man a
painted paradise on his church wall
harpes
et luz
or where virgin
receiveth message
and halo
projects from incision,
with usura
seeth no man
Gonzaga his heirs and his concubines
no picture is
made to endure nor to live with
but it is made
to sell and sell quickly
with usura, sin
against nature,
is thy bread
ever more of stale rags
is thy bread dry
as paper,
with no mountain
wheat, no strong flour
with usura the
line grows thick
with usura is no
clear demarcation
and no man can
find site for his dwelling.
Stonecutter is
kept from his stone
weaver is kept
from his loom
WITH USURA
wool comes not
to market
sheep bringeth
no gain with usura
(ll. 1-24)
You
can read the rest of the poem at Poetry Foundation, though I corrected a typo
in the copied passage above. This is not one of my favorite Pound poems, but
for some reason it’s much anthologized, and as you can see he makes his point
with the anaphoric repetition of “with usura.”
What’s usura, you might ask? It’s
Spanish or Italian for usury, which was Pound’s way of criticizing modern day
commercialism.
So
what’s the overall writing moral here?
Repetition can help writing and it can hurt writing. Learn to distinguish the difference.
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