"Love follows knowledge."
"Beauty above all beauty!"
– St. Catherine of Siena

Monday, April 8, 2013

Matthew Monday: Class Switch

This needs a little preface.  Matthew had been in a class (pre-pre-school) of three year olds that was mostly boys.  I think it was four or five other boys and one girl.  I don’t know if that fact is very significant.  Perhaps the fact that the teacher did not seem to control the class that well is much more significant.  I visited the class once and was totally not impressed of her presence or command of the class.  As far as I could tell from that one hour there was not much structure.  The kids raced about and played with whatever they took, possession being the rule as to who got to play with what.  I could sense that could lead to problems, but it didn’t while I was there, and I don’t think that is the root of the current problem either.   It was a sign, though.

Don’t get me wrong.  It wasn’t a bad class.  The teacher, Miss Melissa, is young, dressed rather common that day, probably isn’t paid that much for this level, but the kids were happy.  Matthew has been in the class since August (I think) and the kids are all friends.  They are rambunctious and Matthew picked up some bad manners at first.  But the kids all hug each other.  I’m not sure how much he’s learned, but I’m not sure how much he’s supposed to have learned at this level.  He knew his ABC’s and numbers already, and I’d have to say now he’s infallible with them.  Other than improving on what he already knew, I don’t know what exactly he’s learned.

A few weeks ago Miss Melissa said that she thought Matthew was going to be a perfectionist, not so much as a compliment, but just because he insists on doing things himself.  He’ll start doing it and then, when it doesn’t turn out as quite it should, he wants to move on to something else.  He gets frustrated.  Then we were told his writing of the alphabet (calligraphy) was behind the other kids, and he didn’t want to do it anymore.  He was refusing.  Now the other kids are all I think in class five days a week, full days.  This amounts to day care for them while the parents work.  Matthew is only there three days a week for half days.  Obviously he’s not going to be at the other kid’s level. 

And then last week we were told that Matthew doesn’t want to do the school projects.  The school projects amount to gluing things together as a little craft.  When he gets frustrated and stops he starts to cry.  He told my wife last week that the other kids call him “cry baby.”  My wife verified this with the teacher, and she said they do.  Something was going on because it reached a point where Matthew on Tuesday was refusing to go to school altogether.  Wednesday he was crying when my wife dropped him off.  She spoke to the administrator and asked he go into another class. 

I was reluctant to make the switch.  After all Matthew has to learn how to deal with different types, and he’s got to toughen up.  He can’t quit just because he’s called names.  Thursday he was put into another class with fewer boys.    The following are email exchanges I had with my wife.

From: Mrs. Manny
Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2013 9:35 AM
To: Manny
Subject: Matthew

Matthew actually looked forward to going to school this morning. Brought him to his new classroom and right away you can tell how mellow it is compared to his other class. He gave me no problem at all, not even a whine. Gave me a kiss and off he went to play. His new teacher Miss Vicki is the total opposite of Miss Melissa. Even Vicki told me that the boys in Melissa's class are a rough bunch.

I'll know more when I pick him up later.

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From: Manny
Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2013 10:57 AM
To: Mrs. Manny
Subject: RE: Matthew (UNCLASSIFIED)

Thanks.


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From: Mrs. Manny
Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2013 1:29 PM
To: Manny
Subject: Matthew

Today went very well. Matthew likes his new class and teacher. When his new teacher asked him if he wanted to stay in her class Matthew responded with a yes and gave her a hug.


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From: Manny
Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2013 01:31 PM
To: Mrs. Manny
Subject: RE: Matthew (UNCLASSIFIED)



Sounds like you made a good decision.

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Let’s hope it’s all resolved.    

6 comments:

  1. Hi Manny! Sorry I haven't been commenting much. Last week was rat-race-y and I was half sick, trying not to become all-sick.
    Re reading the Helprin though :) Hope you had a lovely Mercy Sunday!

    This post reminds me quite a bit of my own Grandson and his behavior. He just needed a little time to mature. He did not like to be pushed into doing things, and also has a sensitive nature. Time was the best medicine, but so also was finding a good fit. His parents both work so he has been in care or school a lot. This year was the first all day pre-k, and he struggled with it.
    Matthew is still very young. I wholeheartedly agree that moving him was best. What you sensed about the lack of structure was a red flag. Many little guys feel insecure without structure. It also sounds to me like the first teacher was blaming him for things she was responsible for. So glad he is is a better class!

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  2. When a young child is too upset to go to school, something is wrong. My granddaughter and a few other girls were acting this way this school year and it turned out there was a bully in the class- a girl, which is actually worse. Finally the parents had it out with the school. They had never even informed the bully child's parents that this was happening. From what I understand things have gotten much better.

    Glad you found out how to fix Matthew's issue quickly! Liking school is so important.

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  3. Thank you ladies. My wife's intuition was definitely better than mine on this. Tomorrow he goes back to the new teacher. We'll see how he does.

    @Kelly - No need to feel obligated to comment. Hope you feel better now.

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  4. Oh I know. But I like to, and since I had suddenly dropped off, just thought I would explain. I do feel a lot better now, thanks!

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  5. My son had similar problems at elementary school in Italy. I asked that he switched class and it was absolutely the right decision. He grew up perfectly able to deal with bullies. That stupid teacher was making fun of him, and we don't want anyone to undermine their self esteem when they are so young.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Antonella. It seems like a common problem.

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