Matthew Monday: I Guess I’m Straight

The other day, I was watching television and Matthew climbs on the couch, crawls up to me, and asks, “Daddy are you straight?” 

Whoa?  Where did that come from?  I think my jaw must have dropped.  My mind went racing.  Does he know about straight and gay?  Kids pick up everything these days, and there is no way to stop them from picking these words up.  So how do I answer this?  And once I say straight, how do I follow up with an explanation?  Should I ask him what he means first?  Should I ask him where did he hear it and from whom?  Was it another kid at school?  Was it adult conversation he overheard?  Was it from television?  Darn that television has gotten too explicit.  

Then in his right hand is a level and he places it up against my chest.  “Are you straight,” he asks again. 

Flashback comes across my mind.  The two of us are in my basement a couple of weeks ago looking for a hammer or a screwdriver (I can’t remember which) and he picks up a little level and asks what it is.  I didn’t know how to describe the concept of being level to a four year old, so I said it checks to see if something is straight.  Then I showed him by placing it up against a counter.  “See how the mark shows between the lines?  That means it’s straight.” 

He found it cool.  “Can I have this daddy?” 

It was a small one that I never use, so I said sure.  He took it up and it got mixed with his toys. 

Return to scene.  “Are you straight Daddy?”  He placed the level up against my chest. 

I let out a big sigh.  “Yes, I’m straight Matthew.”